12/17/12
Less than five days from the end date December 21, 2012, I'm sitting at Legion bar, sipping a $3 Atomic lager, about to attempt to write a state of the union.
I slept all day. So much of my life to go through, mark up for sale, and get rid of. So many scripts that need putting down, if only I could focus for a handful of hours without a chaotic curveball thrown my way. Chapters of my novel memoir sitting & waiting to be edited and compiled.
Doing pretty good despite my holiday experience years past. Between the Santas of the dreaded Santacon I wanted to assault, the complete lack of any money beyond survival and a fair amount of booze, and working in Times Square, I just can't join in the festive cheer.
I have more friends than ever, closer than ever to pulling off assembling a team to create, produce, and market digital comics & more, my social anxiety is kept at bay and my Magick flows easier than ever.
I'm not sad. Though I feel sad. I am mad though, and I'm finally okay with that. Trying to confront all the issues I have with others, that others have with themselves, and make it out the other side a confident man. But also keeping true to my approach of enlightenment & betterment for all those around me.
The next year, the first year I never imagined myself beyond, will be amazing as I reach heights I never thought possible. I'm plugged into Brooklyn's night life, art scene, and dancefloors. It'll only grow from here as I begin to really live however I wish. Tattooed, bearded, and successful.
I read the synchronicities all about me in order to gain my strength in Magick, from the Neverending Story up on the big screen showing Atreyu as he crosses the gateway, to my recent I-Ching pulls, the most powerful & positive in 18 years.
If I keep myself moving forward there will be nothing but success, and great rewards. That's certainly been true for a long time now, but the rate is increasing. The improbable becoming so easily possible as to barely be a second thought.
The desert is so you can be so alone as to reconnect with your reader, your inner ego audience, the one you're writing this insane tale for. Your child, or any child, that may lose himself in your recorded misfortunes, your deeds and daring-do.
Be stripped and powerful more. Strength of will outdoes any physical combat, emotional fortitude bests any armor. The battle is within the elements, though we struggle through the mundane too long to see it clear.
I rely on these words, on this manner of writing, innate & revealing, to make sense of the blurring of the Known, to write myself into righteous action, to make me into a man upon whom others can rely.
Or at least I'll try.
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