I make myself happy
Slapping words
Together
To form a stream,
A sing-song
Lyrical
Daydream
Of a misbegotten
Thought.
Fight and fought
Catch and caught
Lying lies, truth is bought
Sold and slapdash
Minced mine
***
She's gone from me forever
And there's nothing that can be done
The universe has spun on since
We left one another, so much distance
Sits where our love once did
Fear of my dark empty inside
Has sent her running for the
Sunny skies and flower fields
A place I've been too scared
To let myself see, to be
I want to pull her close, hold her
But emotional force fields keep
Me at awkward arms length
Fingertips grazing the skin
Of what we used to have
I did all I could to build and grow
Becoming more than I thought
Everything I was unable to grasp
Normalcy stability niceties
The frightening happy
Now it's all within me, the man
Is here and behind the wheel
But the passenger, my lady in
Waiting for me to grow up, she's
Seen too much to come with.
***
Hot
Like skin stuck sleepless nights
Waiting for the break
Of sweat streams
Wait
For trains in concrete hotboxes
Impatience getting the better
Of my anxious heartbeat
Wind whips as trains pass
Still no closer to who I want to be
***
It rises like steam
No, explodes instantly
Saturating my insides
With jittery nerves
And hopelessness
Just go to bed
It says
Never wake
Again
Better to be bored
Than what?
Out with friends
Drinking beers
What's so scary
About living
Why do I want
To cry?
Sick stomach
Bellyaching
Short breaths
stuck in
