I feel like I've said too much. I've opened up at vulnerable moments and immortalized them. I want to delete all of this. I feel like I've screwed something up before it even begins. But maybe I'm just worried because I haven't felt this feeling in a long time.
I'm being vague. Sorry. Now I get it, why people keep stuff to themselves. I open up too much, or need to, so I turn to writing this nonsense down and in turn, it reveals too much of me. I scare people away don't I? I really don't mean to. I worry people, I don't mean to. I just feel things and don't know how to process them sometimes.
I'm good right now. Well, not RIGHT now, as my laptop is suddenly acting up, so now that I finally have solid internet connection, now my browsers are crashing on me every 5 seconds. And it's that feeling of something not working right, something that is just off a bit, or even could be off, that really makes me crazy. Obsessive tendencies aside, I just want things to be good, for them to work.
My comic looks great, Reilly's doing an amazing job on the art. My job is frustrating, mainly because the hours make me feel so isolated, but also because morale is so low there. My kitty comes back to me tomorrow which will be nice. But now PayPal is taking money from my account and giving it to Ebay and Ebay has no record of it.
For every settled piece of my life, there is a broken bit. Oh, yeah, my iPod is busted for good so I don't even have music right now to make the commuting pleasant. Fuck, I want to cry right now, but I'm somewhere between exhausted and numb. I just hope that writing this exorcises something from me and I can sleep for awhile.
Please just let my past be my past and allow me to move on and be happy. That's all I want. Well, that and maybe a working computer.
Thanks.
K
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